Book of Life

By Joanna Panayi

 

As I lay on my bed, 

In my mind I am unsure 

What am I doing here? 

Will I go far? 

The doubt and the pain 

All come  flooding

Causing a strain 

Within my brain, 

My soul

My body

Hard to take control 

So I lay on my bed 

I tune the world out

I believe there is more 

Without the slightest doubt 

The sound becomes silent 

The touch becomes numb

I am drifting now 

A Point of no return 

I imagine a door 

Placed on my wall 

In front of my bed

I look as it calls 

I stand up 

I walk 

I do not talk

I look at the oak

I am completely woke

Ancient I see 

I know this door

Is the answer to me

As the door creeks

I open to seek

 

A twirling staircase

I try not to freak

I know I am safe

I continue to sway 

Toward the staircase 

Where I meet my fate 

10 steps up 

10 steps lighter

10 steps up

10 steps brighter

I am blinded

I let out laughter 

The light becomes dim

I  start to hear a hymn 

As  the bookshelves appear

I realize 

I am in a library 

So far from my body

Yet my in mind so near 

The spine of these books

Look feared, rugged 

Maybe cursed

Yet one book 

One spine 

Shines 

Divine 

Along with mine 

I walk 10 steps 

To my book

 I Select

An Ancient cover 

Ripped, wrecked,

undiscovered 

Yet I discover

Words of my identity 

Written boldly 

Carved like a tree 

This book 

Is me

I open to these pages

A faded

Dated

Language 

I cannot make it 

Then suddenly 

It’s sunny 

15 degrees 

I am on a hill 

Looking out to the view

I am in ancient times 

I already knew 

That I’ve been here before 

My mind does not dwell 

On what I do not know

Beside me a well

Of the unknown? 

I hear a voice in the air 

so enchantingly 

Ask me once

Ask me twice

Only thrice

The answers I will give 

If you wish for good advice 

For I am the well of your mind 

Of the generations before you 

The prints you left behind 

Knowledge intertwined

This is  what I’ll share 

I will answer three questions 

That is only fair” 

I say

The questions I ask

The answers you speak

Here is the 1st 

I’ve been willing to seek 

Where will I reside?

The bucket of the well

Shakes and swells

The answer I seek 

Is in an object 

That is placed

Praised 

In the subject 

Of the bucket 

That is my answer

I reach in 

I pull out 

An olive branch 

I think 

I know now

Will not forget 

Where I am from 

The olive in the sun

It is ripe 

Throughout its whole life 

Making oil, bread, and wine 

The olive is life 

My dear Well of remembering 

Here is the 2nd 

The question I question

Success of definition 

Will I achieve 

With these rhymes 

My dreams 

Be in fruition? 

The bucket of the well

Shakes and swells 

I reach inside 

I pull out a bobbing bird 

Time is on my side 

Just enjoy the ride

Keep riding the tide

There is another object 

Beside

As I pull out 

It’s hard and sculpted 

A statuette Of Venus 

perfected

love love

Will pull me through 

The love that I am

The love that I give 

 Will be my ultimate success 

For I am an empress

With no need to be addressed 

So time and love is how I express 

My abundance, love 

And my progress

To the well of remembering 

Here is the last 

The most important 

I came here to ask 

When will I find love? 

The bucket of the well

Shakes and swells 

My hands reach 

I pull out 

A book I preach

For it is the holy bible 

Glistening 

A bookmark on a page 

One of the disciples 

15:17 John the Baptist

From the vine

And the branches 

From text 15:16

You did not choose me,

But I chose you 

And appointed you 

So that you might go 

And bear fruit-fruit that will last-and so that whatever you ask 

In my name the Father will give you”

To 15:17

This is my command:

Love each other” 

This message is for my Father

To my Mother

To my brother

To my sister

And To myself 

Love will always exist

Its a matter of opening 

To the bliss

That life can be so magnificent 

My love will come

When it is fit 

For my heart to lift

The darkness it creates

My soul will speak

To connect through my aches 

Of trivial problems 

I block everyday

But I will  remember

H.I.M is here to stay

As H.I.M remains with me

I will be okay

The well of remembering 

My mind of the ages

I thank you 

For remaining courageous 

I will return on this hill

to question my phases

I transport back 

Out of my pages 

The book of me 

Sparks  

The library surrounds me 

I will head back in stages

I close the book

The novel of my existence 

I return the book to its shelf

Without any resistance

I walk 10 steps back

To my stairs

To my track 

The library fades

a picture of black

I reach the door

Of radiating old oak

Through the door I poke

open to see 

I am laying on my bed

Still

Yet free

So comfy 

I look 

With what I have learned

My spirit returns 

My knowledge burns 

I open my eyes

with tears and cries

Imagining the sky

And how I will fly

I will not feel fear

Or be shook

I live with the universe

 enlightened

From  journey I took

To open my book. 

To the Well of Remembering

I will return to you

Its matter of when

Not a matter of due

The well of your mind

The levels you can find

To awake what is yours

What is old

What is new

If you feel lost

Trapped in your thoughts

It Results

In what you feel

The pain, the heartbreak

The ideas

May not be real

So explore your existence

Question

Who are you beyond this?

The answers will trickle

Never at once

The water will remain in the well

The bucket will always shake and swell

Who you are

What you have been

What will you become

Remains

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